Biohackers hacking dildos, DNA, their own bodies for lost futures, thermonuclear war, and contemplations on the end.
Hi there! You're looking particularly smart today. Here's a song for you to listen to while you peruse this newsletter: Feeling, by Decap. Spaced out, rhythmic beats with wide, harmonious sound and judiciously applied samples. I LOVE this song. OK, read on! (P.S.: The descriptions here are a little short because most of my thoughts on the end of the world are at the signoff at the bottom.)
Here's the most cyberpunk thing you'll hear today: biohackers managed to lace DNA with a code that infected the DNA of a computer used to scan that DNA and HOLY SHIT YOU COULD LACE YOUR OWN DNA WITH A COMPUTER VIRUS TO KEEP AUTHORITARIANS FROM TRYING TO SCAN YOUR DNA HOLY FUCK IS THAT THE MOST CYBERPUNK THING IN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE ok i'm calm i swear
Here's an interesting take--taking a literally surgical risk on a technology that never manifests into great popularity and becoming a relic of a strange fringe idea. This woman implanted a magnet into her finger, but the issue is that the magnet loses strength over time and makes other facets of life difficult. And the strange feeling of losing what seemed like a sixth sense over time.
Short and skinny of it (that's not a dick joke (unless you want it to be (you perv))): smart sex toys are, unsurprisingly, just as insecure as the rest of the internet of shit. Here's a breakdown of how some scientists managed to do... well, it's in the title yo.
You remember those scarves made out of Stuxnet's binary data? The guy who made them (Jeff Donaldson) is doing a Kickstarter to raise money to produce more fantastic glitch tapestries. The reward tier prices are actually a steal for this type of work--I've wanted one of these _forever_. (Also, hi, Jeff!)
I'm sure you heard about this already. But if you didn't, yeah, Trump is waving around the U.S. army like it's his penis at North Korea, who is meanwhile considering whether or not to nuke us. F-f-fun... (I don't have any denial to provide you. I'm sorry.)
An article on what to do if the bomb doesn't kill you. Jesus. I'm sorry. I don't know how to make a joke about this. Wait, let me try... How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It doesn't matter, it's the apocalypse and there's no electricity!
Here's a bit more levity for you--an interview with the internet prankster who fooled Eric Trump and Anthony "The Mooch" Scaramucci. (BTW, man, this new trend of putting actual HTML on top of images is great for the web but boy it sometimes makes for boring as heck title images. Oh well.)
And here's an article that really just "gets" me--the idea that radical accessibility to technology and information NOW makes it more difficult for politicians (and everyone else) to get anything done because we're so plugged into the hypermatrix of superdata (definitely real things and not words I made up, yup). Note that the Politico site is apparently stupid now and you have to click the little Page 1, 2, 3, etc. things to get to the next page of the article.